Practical and Emotional Help for Carers

Wellbeing

​

Carers

Often when a person is taking care of a loved one they find little time for themselves. There is a huge emotional tie between a carer and someone they deem to be vulnerable and in need of their time and energy to look after them. 

This can take its toll on your own wellbeing. It is important to have coping techniques to help you when times are difficult. 

​

Each persons’ situation is different and everyone has their own unique way of dealing with stress and emotion. However, it can help to talk it through with others that have been through this journey and by sharing experiences, you can pick up coping techniques that have worked for others. 

​

Having been through the journey of my dad being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Vascular Dementia after a sudden fall and breakdown, I understand how quickly you can find yourself in need of finding solutions. 

​

I understand the difficulty of not being in a parent’s life much because they have chosen to spend more time with your sibling who has now died and their partner’s children and family, and suddenly finding that you are the one they need to lean on to get them through the situation they are in. This brings up unexpected emotions and healing that needs to be supported whilst you are caring for your loved one. 

​

If you are someone who is suddenly facing the need to care for a vulnerable loved one or you are aware it is coming up or you are already doing this, I am happy to have an initial chat with you over a cuppa and see if there is anything I can share or help you with that will make a positive difference to your situation and own unique circumstances. 

​

Your loved one

Dealing with the news that you have an illness that is likely to take you down the path of needing care, whether that be by a family member or an institution, can be daunting and overwhelming. 

​

Talking this through with someone and putting things in place to help your mindset with acceptance of the situation and how you can move positively forward, can really help. 

​

I am happy to have an initial chat with you over a cuppa to see if there is anything or anyone that could help with making this transition easier for you. 

​

Lasting Powers of Attorney (LPA)

If you are at the early stages of considering care or having care in the home, it is really important that these documents are considered. 

Finance LPA – This one allows you to help a loved one or friend with their financial affairs. This could include sorting out their care, paying carers, looking into homes and paying their fees, arranging for investments to be changed so that they can be more easily accessed, selling a home etc. A person may just need help paying their bills or buying food at the early stages of illness. 

Health LPA – Once a person loses the capacity to make medical decisions for themselves, they are likely to need someone who knows them personally to ensure that their health care needs are met. Everyone is unique in how they like to live and for some, they have strong opinions on healthcare and how this is handled. They may also have a special diet or like to dress a certain way, or like to do certain activities that help keep them motivated and alert. As an Attorney, you can help them with all of this. 

​

In order to put these in place, the person you are to be an Attorney for, MUST have mental capacity to make decisions. If they do not, you will have to go via the Court of Protection, which is a much longer and more expensive process. 

​

Wills

If a person does not already have a Will in place their assets will be distributed in accordance with the Laws of Intestacy. This can be found on the Government website:

​

https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

​

If they have an out of date Will, it could mean the wrong people receive the assets they intended for someone else. 

If they have remarried and never done a new Will, any Will previous to the marriage is invalid and so their assets will be distributed under the Law of Intestacy:

​

https://www.gov.uk/inherits-someone-dies-without-will

​

Cohabiting

If a person has been cohabiting with a partner and have never made a Will, their partners needs may not be catered for. If they own a house jointly as Joint Tenancy, it will revert automatically to the partner. Any children of either partner will not inherit once the other receives the house into their estate unless that partner chooses to give something to them. This changes as time moves on and when they meet a new partner.

​

A Will is therefore essential in these circumstances to prevent difficulties within families if you wish children to inherit. 

​

Married

Even if you are married, once a partner dies, the remaining partner can change their Will at any time and choose to disinherit previously agreed beneficiaries. If you own a house and it is left to the other on first death, you have no say over what happens to your share. 

​

To get around this issue, you can consider putting a Property Trust into your Will so that your share can be loaned to the remaining partner whilst they live, and once they die, it can go to whomever you choose, usually your children, but if none, your own family members. 

​

A person can only change their Will if they have the mental capacity to do so. If they have lost capacity, then it is too late.

​